nolongerinbetween

I’m always on the lookout for smart people. But when it comes to sex intellect is immaterial to me. I don’t need my partners to be smart for a simple roll in the hay. If they know what the law of the excluded middle entails it’s all great but, at the end of the day, I don’t care if their inferential machine is completely out of order. They are not there to trade in logic, to recite from Dante or to talk about the distinction between induction and deduction in epistemology. They are there because they have a body I happen to like. It’s great if all that comes with a nice personality and a smart brain as well but it’s not a requirement whatsoever. A nice body will do just fine.

More and more people nowadays pretend to be sapiosexual. In most cases they are not. They might be drawn, admittedly, to smart people and have an appreciation for brains, amongst many other things, but that, in itself, doesn’t make them sapiosexuals. Just finding intelligence sexy is not enough. You need to always value mind over body, brain over looks, spirit over matter. You need to fall for someone’s mind and turn all that brilliance into eroticism. You need to transcend your bodycentrism that evolution installed at the core of your sexual drive. You need to transcend your inherent somatocentrism with its privileging of sight over other senses in constructing your reality to qualify as one. Looking from such a narrow perspective I don’t think I have ever met a genuine sapiosexual other than a girlfriend I had recently and myself when I was a teenager and engrossed with brilliance.

However, like I said, that is a thing of the past. Having sexual intercourse with Einstein is no longer my thing. You can now be a complete moron and I will still have my way with you, providing I like you physically. But there is a catch and this is the reason why my last sexual encounter turned into a disaster and why I’m rambling over it now. I don’t have a problem with someone being stupid as long as I don’t have to witness that stupidity. I don’t care if you think the Earth is flat if you keep that to yourself and take your clothes off. It’s none of my business how smart or stupid someone is and as long as you don’t make your stupidity my problem we are cool. Keep your mouth shut and everything will be fine, the birds and the bees will go about their pollination business. Open your mouth, in a non-sexual way (blush), and it’s quite likely you’ll kill my sexual mojo. And this is what happened with my last date that went south. He opened his mouth trying to prove his worth. He wanted a bit of chit-chat over a glass of wine and ended up feeling threatened by my confidence and cogent argumentation. I knew I wasn’t there to burst his bubble but I’m done being apologetic for outsmarting people around me. He then started talking nonsense in the usual passive-aggressive way people use when challenged, digging himself into an even deeper hole trying to find a way out. And boy, did I roll my eyes like a broken doll. Properly harnessed that could have been used to generate electricity and power an entire village. At some point it did cross my mind to spare him, to curb my perplexity and save the night but the genie of his inanity was already out of the bottle. No matter how great was his body I could no longer ignore his defected mind and his nonsensical discourse. He made his stupidity my problem. I threw my hands up in despair, packed my things and saw myself out. There I was, in bed with a hunk who wanted me, being screwed by my brain instead. Fuuuuck my brain. If I had known when I was a child that smartness will ruin my sexual life I would have dropped school. What’s the point of being smarter if we reproduce and multiply at a lower rate than our idiotic counterparts. No wonder we are outnumbered. We are outrun at passing our genes.

And now what? Do I need to date only smart people? Do I need to date speech impaired ones to avoid the warming-up conversation? Do I need to shush them when we meet up? Do I need condoms for my ears as well? Do I need to get stupid to get laid? The amount of trouble and compromise smart people have to go through for a shag is staggering. Aaargh, another reason not to be smart – it ruins your sexual life. It causes coitus interruptus before any foreplay even starting…